A kind of a review on a book called - A streetcat named Bob By James Bowen

So let us begin shall we not?
What is this and why is this?
This. Well. As much of a fail it is, it's a review of a book.
What book? And why it's so important that it deserves a review by mua?
A streetcat called Bob. It's importance... well... that is something that gave me trouble.
Now don't get me wrong. It's not like this book would not be super-special awesome, but it's just that... well... I didn't quite know how to present it in a way that would present all of its awesomness and might, and the emotional strenght it holds, and honestly as I'm writing this I still don't know how to do it properly, but I made a promise to do it, so here I am.
It's rare for me to come across books that make me shed a tear or two. But this... this was special... I saw myself in this book. And I saw "Bob". Well. In a way. One thing was seeing the things that James saw and experienced in real life via my    imagination, but it was myself that I saw. Myself who had suffered from a serious drug addiction... I don't know... I honestly don't know what to say. I want to say a lot, but this book has left me speechless. It is true. It's about life. It's about everyone and all of us who has lost our meaning, who know how it feels to be at our worst and then to rediscover that YES! WE ARE HUMAN! WE ARE WORTH A LOT MORE THAN WHAT EVERYONE ELSE SAYS! We are. And that's saying a lot. We are human. We feel. We are happy. We are hurt. We live. And we struggle through this eternal battle called life. Because that's what the book reminded me of. This life. And how easy it is to slip into the daily illusions we give ourselves after our greatest battles have been won. We need to remind ourselves and everyone else how it is. How life really is. How it should be. Not easy. No. Then what would our lives be worth if all would come just at the snap of our fingers? ... Nothing I guess, then again I don't know. Maybe someone who has had it so easy could explain it to me...
This book.
This life.
James.
And Bob.
They reminded me.
Of who I was.
And how I met my "Bob".
I still don't know what to say.
Besides. All who hasn't. Read this book! It's a must have!
It's a true story by a man, who had lied to himself same as all of us had at one point, only to be reborn as a better, but still! It was his own choice. Because he could've always given the cat away to someone else or an animal shelter. But he didn't. He chose his life. He chose for his and Bobs sake to become a better man. To drop drugs for good. And to make himself an awesome man of destruction and doom and all else which is made of win. If you do read this James Bowen. I just want you to know of my thoughts. We all live our lives as we have chosen. And you chose the path which leads to becoming a better person. My girlfriend that I met a bit more then 3 months ago is my "Bob". And I hope I will be able to become as awesome as you have. YOu are a man of honor. And if by chance I ever visit London, or if by chance you ever decide to visit Latvia James, then we should definately get in touch and have a beer or two together, cause I'd love to hear how the story continues.
Well... ending remarks eh...
Not much of a review as just my impressions... But I can't jugde this in an objective manner cause this moved so much that just... well... I was like "awwwwwwwwwww" in almost every 2nd page and every chapter had its moments where I shed a tear or two. If I want to say something objective about it... well... A book for those who have loved, have lost, have dreamed, and have forgotten. We all have dreams, goals, aspirations, but it's up to us to become who we are meant to be.
Also in the end I want to add 3 songs.
1st one - Celldweller - Lost in time.

Kind of my theme song which I think James would like to say that it describes a time far gone.
2nd. Celldweller remix - Live the life.

In a way the tune of the book, cause that's what it's about. We have to take stuff in our own hands and life our own lives.
3rd. Cloud cult - noone said it would be easy.

Cause life. It harsh. But it's beautiful. And I doubt that it ever is easy.
Oh. And of course because both James and Bob is so awesome -

When I feel like dying.

Sometimes I feel like dying. I bet you all can imagine the how it is. When something or someone triggers that emotion, or lack of them which makes us want not to exist. Why do I start with something like that? Well. Speaking the truth. Cause that's kind of how I feel at the moment. Well. Slightly. I wish for it all to be over, even though there is not much more here than just life itself and my death would only bring more suffering to everyone rather than any joy, but I like playing around with my emotions. My thoughts. It's funny. I know that I should have no objective reason to feel this way then again, when have you felt emotions because of objective reasons? Well. Maybe looking from an objective point of view something has just been so bad, that you feel even worse. Like the holocaust. Don't know if I wrote it correctly, but truth be told - don't care that much either - too lazy to check cause writing mood and don't want to alt+tab from the notepad screen which I'm slowly filling with this nonsense. Well. Maybe nonsense. Maybe not. Reflection of ones mind and inner world? Perhaps.
Ok moving on. Holocaust might be bad. Ok it. Both from an objective point of view and that's subjective opinion as well. But still. Don't we feel bad more because we with our subjective mind see things as sad? We see them as sad because they are sad to us, while some people might encourage said actions because they believe such acts are good according to their subjective point of view? Or is it now a question of morality and standarts? The inner-self and the greater evil? Greater good? Maybe? It's possible. Don't know for sure. I'm drunk on emotions. And I want to express them.
To be honest. I don't remember what point I had when I started writing. I had one. I'm pretty sure of that. Like c'mon. It's me. What did you expect? Random babble? Well. Could be if you know the full extent of my randomness. But this mirror of my inner self. In a way. And do you want to know what he is saying? I can tell you. But some might not listen. Some even might, but it doesn't mean they will hear. Nothing will change - unless you change it yourself. If by some weird reason reason you believe that you are the reason of all the problems, God bless, don't take this as proof that you are. Because even though the source problem can be found within ourselves quite often it doesn't mean it always is there. The biggest problem ussually is the mindset of a person. The way the percieve things and their mindset then twists and shapes the reality in all sorts of crude and ugly shapes. I have a subjective reason to feel like I would want to die. Why? Because the place I'm at - even though I'm kind of calling it home (for now and for most of my childhood) - it has painful memories that somehow manage to come back to the surface of my mind when I'm located here. Thank God and thanks to other people who have helped me overcome a lot of faults in my thinking I can accept that - Yes. I hate this place. Because of what happened. It doesn't it's a bad place per se. It just means it's a bad place for me now. But I can change it. I can not focus on it. And input my energy into something else. Something productive. And be reasonable about all this feeling down stuff while still thinking over it, in the meantime understanding that it ain't exactly what I need or what I should do. Instead. I should change it. And I shall.
All of us. I believe we can. We can change. And we change the world around us. We can help. As the motto of the Belgium goes - United we stand, divided we fall. Or something amongst those lines. I believe you get the picture. And in case my random babblings have gotten you down. Follow the instructions bellow:
a) get some balls of steel!
b) put some metal on! (or whatever you listen to)
c) ride out and enjoy the awesome adventure which is called life. Cause you deserve it!
P.s. About why these 2 songs. Well. A. They are both awesome. And B.) It depends on your subjective judgement, but the same person can be both a hero and a monster at the same time. Kinda like Hitler.

Piezīmes sev apdomājot dzīvi

Nu tā. Ir apnicis būt nomāktam. Tam esmu gana daudz pēdējā laikā ļāvies un centies uzlikt masku. Tāpēc pie dirsas visu. Dzīve ir skaista. So. KKas jauns un šoreiz arī latviski. Ceru jums patiks :)

Piezīmes,
Sev - ejot pa ceļu,
Seko piemērs - cerību stars,
Laimes un prieka - sajūta, miers,
Mirklis un dziesma,
Mute un miesa,
Vārds, tā spēks,
Palicis tikai - nākotnes lāsts,
Ceļš tik grūts,
Skaties kur mūc,
Ka kājas nepaklūp,
Jo dzīve, tā cieta,
Kā no dimanta lieta,
Paša rokām nopulēta,
Mūsu darbiem ieveidota,
Cīnoties ar trūkumu,
Tā apmierina tavu vajadzību.
Dzīve -
Te nu būs, tava rota,
pildīta bēdām, raudām,
Tā izaicinājumiem pilna,
Bet neviens neteica, ka būs viegli,
Kalt šo rotu,
Nest savu kalnu,
Uzkāpt mēnesī,
Un nocelt zvaignes debesīs.
Tomēr dzīve.
Tā skaista mēdz būt.

Sooo. Nu jā. Un divas manuprāt labākās dziesmas no vienas (atkal jau manuprāt) no labākājām filmām ever.

Dewey Cox story: Walk Hard

Chess pieces.

Another post fully in english eh. Why? Well... I don't know for sure myself, but maybe because my heart is a bit heavy and it's easier to perform self-reflection this way. Well. Somewhat.
So today. I'm going to talk bout chess pieces. Not chess. But chess pieces. There is a clear distiction between the two. One is a strategic game where players both start on the same ground with the same conditions and a battle of wits, tactics and strategy ensues. The others. They are just a part of the game. The most important one at that. Cause if not for the chess pieces we could not have this game. And just as every other piece, I too am a part of this game. But where do I stand? I ain't just a simple pawn anymore, so that role is out of the question. I'm not that full of myself to demand the role of the king. Well. Not yet at least. Me - a queen. Now that would be funny, but sadly that's not the one either. Even looking beyond the whole gender thing, my strenght and influence doesn't reach nearly as far as that of a queen. Could I be a rook? Not even close. Well. Perhaps in the future, but I'm not the type of a person who can just keep going straight. A knight? Maybe. I am kind of jumping around all the time and I am quite the trickster who manages to pull of amazing stunts in a situation with no way out, but there is another piece I associate myself more with. So that leaves me with just one option. The bishop.
Why the bishop?
Well... the way I see it. As a piece the bishop has real trouble going straight. In order to get to the tile 2 spaces in front of him, he needs to moves. He can jump all around, but without the support of others he ain't that good on his own. A bishop is a man tied to religion, which I can also reference myself to. Even though they should be dedicated to religion, there are multiple accounts of the inner struggle between the right and wrong, as man of God are often submitted to temptations. Indeed. It takes a lot of strenght and faith in order to overcome these temptations. Even though they cold be educated in many matters, sometimes this extra knowledge means a lack of knowledge in many other spheres. Thus comes a lifetime of learning more and more bout oneself, the world and God.
Alas. We come to this. Last but not least. They are at the side of each king and queen. I had my queen. But her path was not meant to be crossed with mine. I found another. But she chose another man. I had a king. But my path led away from him, cause I had learned what I needed to be able to move on. Funny. But just a few days ago I managed to lose another queen. I can't help a person unless they are willing to help themselves. Noone can. I don't know. Whether it's hope. Or intuition. Certainly I hope it's the last, cause mine is so accurate at times that it starts getting creepy, somehow I think the future events have been shown to me. Oh well. We will see. I just hope that when the time comes, that God will drive me in the right direction.
I don't know. Maybe it helped. Maybe it did not. Maybe it was just a random rambling, to be shattered upon the rock. Rock of future. Rock of faith. Rolling on. Waiting for the sky, to fall down upon, once to be obeyed by the law, picking out the very shortest straw. Well. Who knows. Maybe all of us. On some deeper level. Maybe none. Nontheless. Life is fun. Beautiful. Harsh. And rough. It's a matter of opinion. Cause even the most rainy day, can have a silver lining. Just look close enough. Maybe you'll see. All the priceless beauty - in front of thee.
So yeah. The argumentation might be a bit weak. Depends on how you look at it. But I wanted to do this. So here I am.
Question. Which chess piece would you pick for yourself?
And what would my blog be without another nice song. Or a song and an ost from a very awesome anime with a good plot
So people. Enjoy.
And once again blogger doesn't want me to find the video  I want from it's youtube video adder. Something is weird. Is this a conspiracy or something so only the familiar names could be heard? I dunnoh. Well. Here is the video.
Also as an extra added bonus. Some more Trigun ost.

 And the translation for the song as it in Japanese:
So... On the first night,
a pebble falls to the earth from somewhere.

So... On the second night,
The pebble's children hold hands and sketch a waltz.

Sound life

So... On the third night,
The children of the waltz cause ripples on the face of the world

So... On the fourth night,
the children of the wave spray the shore.

Sound life

So... On the fifth night,
those shards strike the face of the earth over and over.

So... On the sixth night,
those signals bring travellers together.

Sound life

So... On the seventh night,
a weightless ship races to the sky.

So... On the eighth morning,
a song from somewhere reaches my ears.

Sound life

Well then... A song that has recorded everything
echoes to the new sky.

Sound life
Sound life

Holyland

Soooo.... This entry is going to be english. Don't like it? Then leave. Cause I'm going to talk bout stuff that you can read online in english only. So yeah. Huh. Erm. Where to begin? I guess with the cause. Which would be? Doing something productive? Middle of night. Yeah I know. Not the best time. But I'm an owl and I work better at night. Besides. Wasn't able to fall asleep, so decided to finally do this. Do what? Well the title kind of gives it away, but write this poem actually. It has been a long time since something has moved me so emotionally that I'm willing to write something just cause of it. Some of my poems were just attempts to recreate. The spark. The muse. The link. Call it whatever. If you write prose or poetry I think you should get the point. But let's not get offtopic shall we? By now you might/might not have forgotten what mentioned earlier. That I was inspired. This thing. It was a manga. One of the damn best ones I've read so far actually. It's kind of bout martial arts. Kind of. But. It's much more. It's about life. Living. Finding your place. And being yourself. I can't explain it no matter how well I tried. All else that I want to mention is that I cried near the end. The ending contains a HUUUUUGE plot twist. You might. Might not see it coming. If you did. Well. You certainly know your assholes. Go and check it out by clicking here.
Wanted to put in a wikipedia article, but they don't really have it - surprise, surprise eh?
So without further delay - the poem I talked about - and the song which I was listening to while writing this.

Hmmm. For some reason the usual way how to add videos doesn't allow me to add the video here. Weird. Well. Just click here for the song then.

Holyland

So here I was,
In the middle of the road,
Lonesome traveller,
Carrying on,
Searching far and wide -
For a place to call my own.
Somewhere to stay -
Where I could belong,
And grow on my own.
This, mine, your and ours - holyland .

So there I am,
Middle of the fight,
Crusader of truth,
In the neverending battle of life,
Looking for knowledge,
In this place of mine.
Sometimes I know -
We will need to hold the line,
Can we do that?
To protect which is that -
Our holyland.

There I will be,
Striving for glory,
Justice and might.
Intrigue and romance -
What a fancy sight,
To be seen beyond the curtain,
Stepping through which,
Almost impossible seems.
One step at a time,
It doesn't get closer.
Two steps and I'm tired of trying.
Enough is enough.
My decision is set.
I shall cross the veil,
I - will be there,
your, their, but especially - mine,
In the holyland.

ja es pats spētu saprast, kas notiek manā galvā. Būtu jau jauki ^^

Tātad tā. Jāņu. Slimības un nostalģisku skumju un citu nervu čakarējošu elementu iespaidā pagājušo nedēļu nebiju šeit īpaši aktīvs. Bija panīkums. Dvēseles sāpes. Cik daudz man būs sevī jānes līdz iemācīšos to visu paciest? Es nevaru aizmirst. No kurienes esmu nācis. Un kur esmu tagad. Ir pagājis ilgs laiks, noiets garš ceļš, bet vēl tik daudz ir priekšā. Man arī dažkārt sāp zinieties. =D daže. Bet nu. Tagad jau kaut cik emocionāli stabilāks salīdzinoši ar pagājušo nedēļu, kad manas fantāzijas atkal lika man aizdomāties līdz viss kaut kam ļoti murgainam ir labāk. So yeah. KKas ko tikko uzcepu melanholijas un hip-hopa ietekmē.

Dzīve tik skaista,
Sapņaina dažkārt miegaina,
Izplūdusi skrien man garām,
Gluži vairs nav kur paskriet tālāk,
Viss tik priekšā, bet ne es,
Ne tur, ne tev, ne sev pats,
Atklāties nespēju, nedz tālāk par degunu redzēt,
Kur migla jau rosās un dzīvnieki tostās,
Pazuduši iekārtas ķēdēs, tie lēnām jau sāk mosties,
Caur brikšņiem un dadžiem lauzties,
Atstādami krūmus, zarus lauztus iepakaļ,
Tik un tā piedūrīgos tos nesdami tālāk,
Lai vēlāk vien to atmest spētu,
Neredzot - ak kur tie bija, dvēslē iemīcīti,
Turpina tie bojāt dzīvi,
Klusi - nemanāmi, cenšoties nu ļoti,
Lai to, kas sirdī iedūries,
Nebūtu vēlme izņemt, izraut -
Tikt no dadža vaļā,
Nesaprotot jēgu,
Kaitīgi mēdz būt,
Ja ierobu uzplēst sanāk,
Tač čaļi smies,
Kas tu - vai tad tāda bāba?
Ko pa ielu skraidi, raudi,
Paklausies sevī,
Vai tad tie nav maldi,
Iedomu valgi,
Ko kā dadžus tik nesam sev tālāk,
Un tālāk,
Un tālāk arvien.

Something I'm a bit proud of...

there's something a miss,
sudden lonely kiss,
somewhere there
lost in the mist,
didn't matter, don't go,
there's not much left to show,
on with the road, but no more do I see,
the paths and valleys ahead of me,
Losing the muse, within the urge,
Surge of emotions, all they are,
sweeping over me,
All over and under
clear blue skies
all upon thee,
Within the world - so dark and gray,
No single trace of white, left under my skin,
Shame, dishonor, degrading of kin,
Lost - I was,
in what's to come,
and what's to pass,
moving on the next phase,
one step, one move,
closer and closer every time,
trying much better,
oh just to be found, understood -
well maybe,
another thought on the highway,
trust in a nutshell.

up a sudden urge,
a wave,
coming closer
and closer,
as it falls,
upon down,
streets of dread - casually passing by.
image of mirrors,
reflecting myself,
touching one yet touching all,
just how slowly,
does matter move on,
in rivers of blue,
green,
yellow even,
one for all
and all for one,
mind,
body,
soul,
unison in all.
God.
All-mighty.
Jesus Christ.
I believe what I want.
What you choose,
That's your life,
Path, road - most important of all
It's what matters and I see,
Decision is exactly all - that makes me.

Now,
Please tell me,
Is it the poem that makes me?
Makes my soul,
My heart,
Burn on with desire,
Trying to transpire,
find the truth,
one and only light,
fighting for your life,
every hour,
every day,
daring to think,
it never was easy,
though we are not,
that weak inside,
reminding yourself,
to fight for your life.
Trying to rise,
night by night,
Let the hero arise.


Well. To be honest. It feels like coming down to too much a sharp cut at the end, so most likely I'm gonna update this one to be a bit better, with some more of a fitting ending. Sooooooo. Potato anyone? =D
K. This might be all for me folks. I dunno. Mby going. Mby not. But. You might say I have magical powers of predicting future. But. I believe I will go to sleep soon xD I love how women make a man feel so damn confused xD Awesome ain't it ;)

Noone said it would be easy.

Jau kārtējo reizi. Atskatoties pagātnē uznāk kauns. Par savu rīcību. Un to cik biju čīkstelīgs mazs emo puika. Bet nu par to īpaši daudz nav jārunā. Savādāk atkal. Dievs pasarg. Sākšu vēl vairāk čīkstēt :D
Kā jau lielākai daļai cilvēku, kas ir piedzīvojuši 21.gs. miju man nav bijusi tā patīkamākā bērnība. Bet tāda dzīve. Interesanti. Ka cilvēki, kam ir bijusi normāla bērnība, bez vardarbības, dzīves trūkumā, vai sabojātām attiecībām ar vecākiem/ vai vecāku starpā, manā pieredzē gandrīz vai nav. Vai tā ir 20. un 21. gadsimta vaina? Jeb tikai cilvēka nepilnības, ko esam centušies labot, bet kaut kā īsti nav sanācis? Tehnoloģija progresē. Arvien ātrākos tempos pietam. Bet šķiet. Ka cilvēks nekur uz priekšu netiek. Mēs vēljoprojām balstāmies uz veco, ko esam sasnieguši un lai gan it kā varam saskatīt nākotnes perspektīvas, bet vai cilvēcei ir nākotne? Vai ir kur attīstīties? Varbūt karš Ukrainā varētu pat būt raksturojams, kā cilvēcei par labu esošs? Lielākā daļa sabiedrības līdz Ukrainai dzīvoja ilūzijās, ka viss ir forši jauki pūkaini, ja neskaita iekšpolitikas lietas un ekonomikas stāvokli dažādās valstīs un sociālajos slāņos. Un lai gan daudzkur pasaulē notika un vēljoprojām notiek protesti pret valdošo iekārtu, tas vienkārši populārākajos publiskajos medijos nav ticis atspoguļots, jo pretestība vienā pasaules galā, var iedvesmot citus sacelties. Tas nav ekonomiski izdevīgi. Un tā. Lielākā daļa dzīvo miera ilūzijā jūtoties pilnīgā drošībā. Ukraina. Tur savukārt ir savādāk. Šo protestu var pilnībā novelt tikai uz iekšpolitikas sekām un ārpolitikas spiedienu. Tā būtu tā kā cīņa par demokrātiju un kapitālismu, ko redzam mūsdienās. Tāpēc tas ir jāzin. Bet. Līdz ar seperātistu darbībām Ukrainā un to, ka drīz vien tur visticamāk iesoļos Krievijas karaspēks Eiropai tiek atgadināts, ka miers nav patstāvīgs un varbūt novērsīs domas no tā, kas ir mazsvarīgs un mēs pievērsīsimies svarīgākām vērtībām nekā popmūzika un brendu apģērbs, padomāsim nedaudz vairāk par saviem tuvākajiem un varbūt iemācīsimies nedaudz vairāk par mīlestību un dzīvi. Varbūt atnāks apziņa. Ka "Ukraina" var notikt jebkur. Nedaudz muļķīgas. Varbūt. Iespējams. HVZ. Sazin kādas pārdomas darba laikā, kamēr ALISE tiek atjaunināta.

Jaunatne mūsu ak šī. - atdzejojums nr.9.

Sekojoši. Uz doto brīdi jūtos nedaudz tizli. Nogulēju darbu. Bet nu kam negadās. Still. Tizla sajūta. Nu neko darīt. Strādāšu nevis no 8 līdz 12, bet no 9 līdz 13. Gadās. Par savām kļūdām ir jāmaksā.
Un lai justos nedaudz mazāk tizli, būs vien jādara kaut kas, kaut nedaudz produktīvs (wot darbs saucas), so yeah. Atdzejojums nr.9. Oriģināls atkal jau - eh - Angļu valodā.
Pašu dzejoli rakstīju ceļā uz Lielvārdi. Vai Rīgu. Nav svarīgi. Bet vilcienā, klausoties šo:

Pats dzejolis savā ziņā bija kā protests. Vairāk gan pret sevi. Bet tomēr savā ziņā pret sabiedrību. Par šo bezatbildīgo īstermiņa domāšanu un resursu izsaimniekošanu, kas notiek mūsdienās. Sak. Kāda jēga tač kādam ko atstāt, ja agri vai vēlu visi mirs. Tad jau labāk nodzert. Nu labi. Varbūt ne gluži. Bet sajūta, ka tas vēljoprojām turpinās ir. Lai gan jāatzīst. Varētu būt sliktāt. Kaut gan. Tā ir konstante. Vienmēr var būt sliktāt. Vai tas nozīmē, ka mums būtu jāsamierinās ar to, ka nav tik slikti cik varētu būt? Nezinu. Atkarīgs. Ja mēs varam ko mainīt un esam gatavi ieguldīt šo smago darbu, kas nepieciešams lai to darītu, tādā gadījumā nē. Mēs nedrīkstam klusi sēdēt rokas klēpī salikuši. Vara ir mūsu rokās. Un šo varu mēs tikai nododam sevis izvēlētiem pārstāvjiem saeimā. Bet šī vara - tā ir mūsu, tautas vara. Republika kā nekā esam. Varētu sākt kā tāda arī izturēties.


Youth.

We - the youth,
Future of this land
So many - just like the sand
But who? how many?
Shall be taken by the sea,
Lost for eternity?

But who? How many?
Which shall remain?
On the shore, to once lost - pride regain?
Who'll stand amongst - those in pain?
And battle on,
For our rights and freedoms.

We - the youth.
Future forgers of this land,
Don't forget, just where you stand,
For sooner or later,
It shall be ours,
This land corrupted - by silly lies


Jaunatne.

Mēs - jaunieši,
Šīs zemes nākotne.
Cik daudz mēs esam,
Gluži kā smiltis.
Bet cik daudz un kuri,
Jūrā pazudīs mūžībai lemti.

Kurš? Un cik daudz?
Kas paliks?
Krastā atkal cīņu veikt,
Zaudēto cieņu lai atgūtu?
Kas stāvēs līdzās?
Tiem, kam sāp.
Un turpinās cīņu,
Par mūsu tiesībām un brīvību.

Mēs - jaunatne.
Kalve - šīs zemes nākotnei.
Neizmirstat visi,
Kur Jūs esat,
Jo agri vai vēlu,
Tas viss būs mūsu,
Šī zeme -
Muļķīgiem meliem piesārņota.

Nedaudz par daudz klusuma manā galvā.

Nu ko. Jau atkal esmu noslinkojis un blogā nekas nav likts.
It kā jau vajadzētu. Traucēkļi un šķēršļi īsti nepastāv. Tik personīgas slinkuma izpausmes, kā arī radošās izpausmes trūkums organismā. Tāpēc sekojoši. Nāksies vien jums lasīt manas pārdomas dienas tumšākajā periodā, kamēr braucu ar vilcienu uz mājām.
Nekad neesmu piekopis dienasgrāmatas rakstīšanu. Neesmu izjutis šādu vajadzību, jo pašrefleksijas procesu vairāk veicu savā galvā. Bet tas ir... attaisnojumus. Savam vājumam un slinkumam, kas jāpārvar. Rīgu neuzcēla vienā dienā. Tas viss, ko redzam, kur dzīvojam. Tas ir darba rezultāts. Gadsmitu un cilvēku dzīvību vērta darba pie tam. Vajadzētu tomēr apzināties. Ar cilvēku ir tieši tāpat. Ja sevi nekopsim, neattīstīsim - vienā mirklī attapsimies, ka esam palikuši tur tālu citiem aiz muguras. Šī apziņa manī jau it kā ir. Bet kā ar daudz ko. Viena lieta ir zināt. Otra ir saprast un pielietot saprašanu reālajā dzīvē. Un ar to pielietojumu ir kā ir... meh.
Diemžēl gan. Tā nav vienīgā problēma. Kā jau jebkuru cilvēku. Arī mani bremzē bailes. It kā cilvēcīgi. Bet tomēr. Bailes, ka tavi sapņi, ambīcijas. Ka tas neizdosies... Ka viss plānotais pārvērtīsies tukšos pīšļos. Tas pārvērš un morfē bailes tik tālu, ka tās pieņem depresijas mēteļa formu, kas pildīts ar skumjo, beigto, bet par spīti visam tomēr dīvaini silda.
Nekad nav bijis viegli. Un vieglāk nekļūs. Galvenais pārvarēt bailes un novilkt šo mēteli, neskatoties nedz uz lietu, nedz ņemot vērā pieaugošo aukstumu. Tomēr. Stāvot uz vietas - cilvēks nosals un mirs. Tāpēc jāsāk skriet. Viens solis. Divi. Katru dienu kaut nedaudz. Bet ir jātiek uz priekšu un ķermeni jāsasilda ar kustību vien. Tādēļ sāksim. UN arīdzan turpināsim. Iet, skriet - cīnīties! Nesalsim stulbi uz vietas stāvot.
Varbūt doma tekstā, jau dzirdēta tūkštoš reižu, dažnedažādākās formā , bet tomēr nevienam nesāpēs, ko tādu jau atkal izlasīt.

Atvainojos. Dzejolis tomēr nebūs :P - pagaidām.

Vienmēr esmu teicis un uzskatījis, ka dzeju tāpat vien neraksta.
Ir jābūt kam vairāk. Kādam iedvesmas mirklim, kad jūti. Nu jā. Tagad jāiet, jāraksta, jādara. Bet cik ļoti tas atbilst patiesībai? Vai pats neesmu kļuvis par nodevēju savām domām mēģinot sevi piespiest nodarboties ar tiem pašiem atdzejojumiem vien? Vai dvēseli var izprast un izkopt tāpat vien ar centību un sīvu darbu? Vai varbūt vienīgais, kas patiesi ir cilvēkam vajadzīgs - ir viņš pats, kas viņu dzen uz priekšu. Saka. Ka labi rakstnieki, daudz lasa un raksta dienu dienā lai izkoptu savu prasmi. Bet tomēr. Vai to pašu var attiecināt uz dzeju? Nu. Ar laiku, cilvēks var iemācīties vairāk. Labāk izjust kā veidot saikni ar lasītāju, bet tas tomēr... man kaut kā nepatīk. Cilvēka dvēseles spontānums un skaistums nedaudz zaudē spožumu, ja uz to paskatās uz ko tādu, kas iegūts tikai ar darbu. Bet no otras puses. Tas ir vēl pat daiļāk. Ja cilvēks ir sevi ielicis un veltījis sevi, kam tādam, lai to apgūtu un iemācītos līdz galam, šīs pūles vien jau šo to nozīmē un padara cilvēku labāku. Esmu savas iedvesmas strupceļā un nezinu, kur tālāk griezties. Es nejūtos pareizi piespiežoties uz atdzejojumu veikšanu, bet tai pašā laikā vēlos to darīt, lai sevi izkoptu, pat ja nav vēlmes... interesanti. Cik gan bieži cilvēks pats ar sevi nonāk nesaskaņā un konfliktā mēģinot pieņemt lēmumu. Bet tomēr arī. Lēmums nav tik ļoti svarīgs, kā pati rīcība. Un vai tad tāpēc šis raksts netop? Tāpēc, ka es rīkojos nedomājot par sekām?
Muļķīgi. Ir cilvēki. Es tai skaitā. Bet mēs dosimies uz priekšu. Un tikai laiks rādīs. Kam, ko lemts sasniegt. Vai nu tas ir ķēniņa tronis, vai kaste zem tilta, kuru par mājām saukt. Bet mūsu rīcība izlems visu, kam būs nākt.
Nesaprotu. Vai esmu kaut cik gudrāks kļuvis no visas šīs te "gudrās" muldēšanas (nu labi. nemaz tik gudra laikam nav heh :D ), bet kaut kādu pašrefleksiju tomēr esmu veicis. Un tā arī ir rīcība.
Nu tad, ko lai saka. Vēlu veiksmi rīkoties un pieņemt pareizos lēmumus.

Eh. Piespiedos tomēr un uzrakstīju arī atdzejojumu. Lai jums ar tiek. Paspīdzinat sevi vēl nedaudz palasot :D
Ak jel. Laikam pačakerēšos pēc tam ar secību visu. Bet jau zajebal (atvainojos) viss pesimisms, ko sajūtu no tā mazā stulbā idiota, kas to visu iepriekš rakstīja. Kādam derētu atgriezties laikā un sadot viņam pa purnu, lai saņemas un uzaudzē pautus. But... I guess all is in the progress :D
And I can't manage to write a s*** :D:D:D nu ko. Vismaz pakavēju Jums laiku :P

Atdzejojums nr.8. On a sad dark note of remembering the past. Oh well.

Kārtējais oriģināls, kurš tapis angļu valodā.
Nožēlojot pagātnes darbības un sāpes, ko esmu radījis citos. Piedošanu
I know I used to be an emo-kid and all. And I did shit. Yeah. Many people did. But... I guess there are things I will always keep on regretting. Well... Only one I can blame here is myself. So yeah. Don't be a fool. And don't fuck up others. It's not good for your mental (and neither for your physical) health.
Due to emotional reasons and language this one was a bit tougher to be translated then the rest (well so far at least) and quite a few changes were made. But as usual. The thought kind of remains the same. And a little bit more on the poem. Erm. Well. The original was made after I started to regret doing shit to family cause of drugs. Don't want to go too much into the whole backstory thing this time, but yeah. Nobody is perfect. So there. Enjoy your half-assed poetry :P


I'm done.

Tired of thinking,
Some positive linking -
Actions illegal,
Status - unequal.

Then getting high,
Soaring through the sky
Next to the birds,
Believing I can fly.

Startling conclusion,
For this way of life,
There is no solution -
Just mindless polution.

Foolish and lost,
In their selfish greed,
OH, but do we fail to see,
Suffer and pain brought upon,
Those who truly care for me.


Pietiek.

Esmu noguris domāt,
Laiks pievērstīes "pozitīvām" jomām,
Darbībām, nelāgām,
Apstākļiem, smieklīgiem.

Tad lidosim augstu,
Planēsim tālu,
Caur debesu jumu,
Ticot, ka cilvēks ar lidot spēj.

Biedējošs secinājums,
Šādu dzīvi dzīvojot,
Galam jēga nepienāks,
Viss tiks tikai samaitāts.

Muļki tie kas pakļāvušies,
Savtīgai iekārei ļāvušies,
Bet cik bieži, gan mēs akli,
Nesaredzam, to ciešanu grāvi,
Kur mūsu mīļos mēdzam gāzt.

Muļķīgi kaut kā. Pēc valodas... arī feils... bet, bet, bet.... still a bit better then the original. Guess I'll have to rework this one through again. Oh well. But in the meantime. Enjoy what you can. Life is short. Don't spend it all on yourself. Think a little bit about others as well.

Went to the movies. Watched Maleficent. Do reccomend. 8 out of 10

Nu tā. Par spīti tam, ka daži iespējams teiks - nav nepieciešams spoloit filmu un iespējams norādīt uz pāris nepilnībām, vēlējos uzrakstīt varbūt nelielu pārskatu, ar pāris komentāriem

Ok. So. Kā jau treileris (un gan jau filmas nosaukums) izsaka filmas galvenā varone ir feja (vēlāk ļaunā) Malefisenta.
The beggining of the movie makes sense (except all the explanation we get about her parents is that they are dead and another note here, if she is a fairy, why are there no other hueg ass fairies like her), we get to see a child Maleficent, and how she develops with a (wink wink soon to be asshole-king) young boy - Stephan.
Everything goes well for a few years, then Stephan fucks of to the human realm to realise his ambitions of becoming a king. Well. All is well that ends well. Right? Except not yet. Cause after Stephan had abbandoned Maleficant, he took up the occupation of being the kings bitch at the royal court (we all know that if you are at the court, most likely you are the kings bitch. If not - you are manipulative and scheming enough to escape that fate as GoT has proven very well) and just as most of the greedy, selfish humankind (not just talking bout the movie here ), he abused his past relationship status to get to the throne via - removing Maleficents wings and bringing them back to the king to prove that he is worthy of being his succesor (wink wink, he is not).
King dies. Enter Maleficent goes on to being a revengeful woman, enter new asshole selfish greedy king.
So. Our (now evil) fairy has gotten herself a trustworthy minion who does espionage work.
Turns out the queen is pregnant. YAY! ^^ Sooo....
When baptism is due, Maleficent decides to join the party and puts a curse on the little wee beastie, that the day after she turns 16, she will hurt her finger on the pinwheel  needle, only to fall asleep in a very dark cold sleep, from which she will be waken up by a kiss of true love.
Long story short. King gives the kid to 3 fairies (who really suck at taking care of babies btw) to take her far away to protect her. Oh sweet irony. Malifacent in her curiousity to take a look at this wee beastie actually takes care of her more often and with more care than the 3 fairies (though she can't stand the kid at first).
Years pass. She gets closer and more attached to the girl. Tries to take away the curse, but fails (damn wording ;) ) and ultimately (of course it must after the girl has made friends with her) Aurora (yes. that's the name of the girl) finds out bout Maleficant and who is she, and what she did (curse, wink wink :D ), she gets all upset and a bit angry. Then runs away to find her father - the king (cause yes, your dad put you away to live in a house with 3 elderly woman (well she doesn't know that they are fairies (and yes. fairies can shapeshift into humans - which actually now gives me another question. If they can do that, could it be that there are actually a ton of fairies hiding within the human realm as humans? Oh wait. They get burned by iron, so I guess not. nwm)), and the moment you find out that the person you look up to and who has protected you, despite the fact she put a curse on you, you run of to find your asshole of a king father who is insane. makes total sense, but I write this one of as her being a teenager).
Maleficent then also tries to make haste to the castle to try and prevent the curse from happening or try and wake her up using a foreign prince (who seemed a bit confused and brain dead xD ).
She infiltrates the castle. Gets to the girl. The kiss of the prince doesn't work. Now at this point of the movie I was confident that the servant of Maleficent would wake up the girl, cause he did seem to care for her a lot as well, but turns out Maleficent regrets her actions, real bad, and as a goodbye - kisses the girl on the forehead. Boom. Magic. A kiss of true love. Girl wakes up. Then our heroes/villains, try to make their escape. Enter battle scene with warriors in full plate mail armour and iron weapons. Enter mad king. Who doesn't seem to care that his daughter has somehow magically regained consciousness, but heck. He's insane allright. The girl brakes the cage which held the wings of Maleficent (since when do wings that are separated from the body show signs of being alive, and if so, why did it not happen in the movie previously? If the wings only react to Maleficent, could he had not used them as an alarm? As a bargaining chip maybe?), boom! Magic time. Wings get back to our lovely fairy. Battle scene. King dies. Maleficent goes away with the girl. Puts her on the throne of the fairy kingdom, and suposedly, this makes the both kingdoms united. How? If the king is dead, same as the queen, who can legitimize the claim that the girl has for the throne? I mean. Noone knows her except the 3 fairies. People in that setting are not keen on trusting fairies. So. How? Really now. Movie. Plz explain.
But in overall. Good movie. Do recommend. Fun and awesome to watch. Has a lot of symbolism as it comes to the personal freedom of an individual and warns us not to trust strangers and ex-boyfriends, or ex-girlfriends, cause they kind of tend to be jerks. Well up to a point of course.
The movie had potential. If it would have included a little bit more explanation, little bit more background for a few characters, like 1,5 or 2 more hours of screenplay, some political activities as well, it could have very well gotten 10 out of 10.
Nobeigumam īss klips no filmas.

Ceļā uz diženumu.

Dzejolis, ko beidzot biju morāli nobriedis uzrakstīt un sniegt Jums to prieku izlasīt.
Kā jau kārtējo reizi. Eksistenciālisms. Un nosprausts mērķis. Vēlme sasniegt, ko vairāk un sevis apzināšanās. Ja reiz es biju klauns, tad vairs nē. Varbūt es vēl neesmu karalis, bet neviens neteica, ka par tādu kļūst vienā dienā. Reiz. Kādu reiz. Bet es tāds būšu. Protams vēl joprojām atbildot attiecīgajām autoritātēm, bet es valdīšanu ar Dieva starpniecību, pār citiem. Jo nu, I know who I am - and I am awesome!
P.s. Paralēli lasot varat uzlikt klausīties šo. Dzejolis tika rakstīts ar šo dziesmu fonā.

On my way there

In the freezing void
Of empty sapce,
Does a story begin -
Of glory and grace.

Initial steps,
Set aside,
Betrayed by ones own -
Lust and mistakes.

Ashamed and scared,
The plot moves on,
To craft a king -
That's one of a kind.

Seemingly endless,
Circles and loops,
All to learn -
The greater purpose.

Beauty and mercy,
Blessing of kings,
So loving and friendly,
This rocky road.

Break me in parts,
Mold me a new,
Crown me king,
So I could find my purpose.

Atdzejojums nr.4 - This darkness.

Par dzejoli - oriģināls tapis angļu valodā, braucot vilcienā, atrodoties dzēruma stāvoklī, bet ne par to ir stāsts. Stāsts ir par sevis un iekšējā spēka meklējumiem. Centieniem pārvarēt slikto un cerēt uz to labāko. Mēģinājumu pilnveidoties, jo mācas virsū melnais un šķiet ka nu atkal kārtējo reizi, es neesmu spējis pats sevī ieklausīties un sev paklausīt. Bet. Arī tas ir jāiemācās. Neteiktu, ka man tas tagad vēl baigi īpaši izdotos, bet vismaz esmu vairāk iemācījies "sevi" sadzirdēt. 


Šai tumsā,
Manā gaismā,
Nezināmais dzīves noslēpums.
Šīs sāpes, ko redzu,
Atbrīvo dusmas,
Kas tur gūstā.
No kārdinājumiem spēt,
Atturēties vajag,
Un sadzīvot ar sevi,
Savu iekšējo tumsu,
Mums jāspēj.
Šīs - mūsu - dzīves,
Tās ir kā vērtas,
Neaizmirstamas.
Uz gaismu,
Ir jātiecas.
Un tumsā,
Lai ļaunais aizmirstas.
Ar gribas spēku,
Uz priekšu jātraucas.
Lai laicīgai baudai,
Varētu nepadoties.


This darkness, my light,
Unknown secret of eternal life,
Pain, I see,
Releases all anger,
Held within me.
To resist all tempation,
And coexist with our inner darkness,
We must insist,
Our lives are something -
That's not to be missed!
To light,
May you pray.
And in darkness -
It shall decay.
And with our will,
We must say nay!
To the pleasures of life,
So seemingly great.

Atdzejojums nr.3. Tumsai aptverot.

Neliels apraksts šim dzejolim. More or less. Centīšos. Jo atmiņa klibo, pēc patstāvīgas vielu lietošanas arī ir nedaudz notrulināta. Diemžēl. But, that's life ain't it? Ir jāsamierinās ar pagātni, jo nu ko tur vairs mainīt. Atliek tik uz priekšu iet un neaizmirst, kur iepriekš pakritām.
Tātad.
Par dzejoli. Kas tas tāds un ko tas dara heh. Nu... Jau sen. Sen. sen. Kaut kad jau 6. klasē es atceros, kā man prātā iešāvas viena frāze - As darkness surounds us all. Tikai šī viena frāze. Es, ka ar to būs saistīts viss mans mūžs. Nu kind of. Un tā gadu pa gadam. Līdz es atradu vēl vienu rindiņu un sapratu, ka šī frāze būs iesākums manam magnus opum. Manam dzejolim, kam būs dzīvot mūžīgi. As darkness surrounds us all, our prayers towards light we direct. Jāatzīst, ka šī gan nav tāda versija, bet... šis ir vismaz, kas tāds pie kā es mērķtiecīgi esmu centies strādāt. Nu cik nu. Bet aptuveni. Vismaz to nav pārāk liels kauns rādīt plašākai publikai. Bet lietas, kas man pielec tikai tagad. Ka tajā laikā frāze atspoguļoja manu garīgo stāvokli (nu kā jau tas bieži ir, kad vairāk strādā zemapziņa rakstot šādas lietas) un tā man tiešām šķita ka ir. Visa pasaule ir pret mani un man apkārt ir tikai tumsa. Un otrā frāze man arī tā ienāca prātā, kad situācija kļuva nedaudz labāka. Viss ir saistīts un ja izseko savai domu ķēdītei, mācoties izlasīt pat mazās nejaušās domas var iemācīties daudz jauna par sevi. Mana problēma savukārt vienmēr ir bijusi pārāk liela dzīvošana manā galvā un pārāk maza dzīvošana realitātē, kas savukārt iezīmējas manās sociālajās iemaņās. Nu ko. Dzejolis -

Tumsai aptverot

Tumsai aptverot mūsu dzīves,
Gaismā glābiņu meklējam mēs,
Aklie tikmēr tās aprites lēš,
Un tu - bērns,
tumsā dzimis,
Ko gaidi?
Vai domā, ka austot rīta gaismai -
Dzīve būs pilna,
Gaismas un prieka?
Vai arī sapņot grasies tu?
Par pilnmēness nakti,
Un tumsas glābiņu?

As darkness surrounds
As darkness surrounds us all,
In light do we seek mercy.
While the blind try to see,
Just where the darkness begins to flee.
And you -
Child.
Born in darkness,
What is your wish?
Where do you stand?
Just what do you think?
Of the life ahead,
After the morning weave.
Will you enjoy,
The morning light, being joyful and happy?
Or will thy pray,
For the everlasting night?

Turpinot ar atdzejojumiem. Repost from draugiem.lv un neliela piedeva... mīlestības vai? =D

Tātad. Ko es varu teikt par šo dzejoli hm?
Sākotnēji tapa kādā 10. vai 11. klasē ABFS nodarbību laikā. Mums tika dotas random dzejoļu rindas, vai arī vārdi. Precīzi neatceros. Un. Nācās izveidot pašiem savu dzejoli no dotajām rindām. Šī versija jau ir modificēta un oriģināls ir savādāks. Ir arī piedzejots klāt, lai vairs neizklausītos tik naivi un bērnišķīgi varbūt, bet tomēr. Šis tas, kas minēts un rakstīts vēljoprojām ir saskatāms.


Viss priekšā

Viss tik priekšā stāv.
Galvenais, atceries!
Ka tad, mirklī kuram būs tam nākt
Laiks kopā saplūdīs,
Iespējams pat apstāsies.
Tver to, kā smiltis visapkārt,
Tās reizē daudz, bet kaut kā maz
Visas sekundes,
Pavadītas gaidot kādu,
Kā ziedlapiņas,
Krāšņas daiļas,
Uzzied uz pļavas.
Diversifikācija, kas tikai rīks,
Var palīdzēt,
Un nolādēt.
Tavās rokās, liktens tavs.
Neviens nebūs,
Kas varēs palīdzēt.
Pašam tik tas jāizzina,
Jo katra mīlestība,
Tikai tava paša.
Ar taviem vārdiem,
Pieredzi un mīlu,
Ciešanām izdzīvotu.

Un agliskotā versija.

It's all just ahead.

It's all ahead of you,
Just, remember,
That when the moment comes,
Time will change it's course,
Coming to a halt at last.
Catch the moment,
The sand around,
It's so much,
Yet so little,
All the seconds,
Waiting for someone,
Like flowerpetals,
Glorious, divine,
Make a meadow beautiful.
Many shades, just but a tool,
It can help,
Yet it damned as well.
In your hands, but the choice remains.
There will be, noone to help,
Cause love of yours,
Is but your task,
With you words,
Experience - and motions,
As well as woe that comes with it.

Par pagātni.

Nu tā. Sāksim ar to, ka es pats sevi esmu nedaudz pievīlis. Nu tā. Bišķīt.
Vēlējos likt šo un to savā blogā katru dienu, bet nu... nesanāca īsti
Gan morāles, gan tā dēļ, ka nebija īsti brīvdienu laikā pieejams kompis.
Bet. Dodamies tālāk.

Par pagātni. Tās sekām uz mums un kāpēc dažiem grūti pieņemt citus. Kaut kā tā
Sekojoši. Mēs visi esam vārījuši sūdus. Pārnestā nozīmē. Nu labi. Varbūt daži to arī ir darījuši burtiski. Bet fakts paliek fakts. Tā ir. Un arī būs. Neviens nav nevainīgs un ir pārkāpis kaut ko. Vai nu izturējies kā kretīns, vai vienkārši grēkojis citiem aiz muguras. Kāpēc vēlos par to nedaudz... erm... rantot. I guess.
Nu. Sanāca tā, ka izvērsās neliela saruna ar cilvēku, kas nevēlas citiem īsti atklāties un ka ar to ir problēmas tieši tāpēc, ka pastāstot cilvēkiem daļu savas pagātnes, cilvēku attieksme uzreiz mainījās, kļuva nedaudz negatīvāka un cilvēkiem vairs nebija vēlme klausīties citos. Tas ir stulbi. Ja cilvēks tev izklāsta, ko tādu, par ko pašam cilvēkam ir iespējams nedaudz kauns stāstīt, vai tāpēc ir jāatgrūž un jāmaina sava attieksme? Jākļūst negatīvam iespējams? Visi ir darījuši viss kaut ko. Vai tiešām ir tik grūti pieņemt, ka citi cilvēki mums stāsta par saviem sūdiem? Varbūt. Ja aprunājamā subjekta emocijas un pagātne atsauc atmiņā to, ko mēs paši nožēlojam un nevēlamies atcerēties, tad gan jau. Bet. Cilvēks ir Jūsu acu priekšā atklājis daļu sevis. Noņēmis daļu savu bruņu un kļuvis ievainojamāks. Vai tāpēc jāatgrūž? Manuprāt nē. Cilvēks ir tikai parādījis, ka uzskata Jūs par gana nopietnu un nobriedušu cilvēku, kas spēs novērtēt šo atvēršanās izpausmi un spēs saredzēt to, kā šīs rīcības un piedzīvotais ir ietekmējis cilvēku, ko redzat sev pretī. Tam nevajadzētu samazināt respektu pret cilvēku (ok. at times maybe not, ja cilvēks turpina rīkoties ... morāli nepieņemami un ja jūs uzzinat par šīm pagātnes kļūdām no cita, tas arī var atstāt negatīvu iespaidu), tieši otrādi. Ja cilvēks ir atvēries. Tātad viņš jūtas gana droši Jūsu priekšā lai to varētu būt izdarījis. Ir skumji, kad diemžēl cilvēki mēdz pievilt šo te uzticību un vai nu to izmantot savu savtīgu mērķu labad, vai arī samazināt savu vērtējumu par Jums.
Mūsu pagātnes veido mūs tagad. Ja esam ko piedzīvojuši, nav jēga to nožēlot. Mēs varam nožēlot rīcību, jo gandrīz vienmēr mums ir izvēle rīkoties (jā, arī ja pie galvas ir pistole, mēs varam rīkoties pretēji prasītajam, tikai sekas diemžēl sekos) un mums ir jāmāk sadzīvot ar sekām. Ir jānožēlo šī rīcība un jāspēj piedot pašiem sev, un kas ir vēl svarīgāk - ir jāmācās no pieļautās rīcības sekām.
Saupere audi - dare to think. (Uzdrošinies domāt)
Carpe diem - seize the moment (tver mirkli)
Es šos divus teicienus vēlētos papildināt un izveidot trešo.
Nebaidies domāt par šodienu, tver šo mirkli, bet neaizmirsti, par to ka rītdiena arī reiz pienāks.
Nu. KKā tā. Neliela izpausme no manas puses.

Alas. It begins.

Tātad sekojoši visi jaunieši, pensionāri un kas tik vēl ne.
Lēnā garā veikšu bloga atjaunināšanu ar saviem dzejoļiem.
Vismaz ar tiem, ko nav kauns rādīt un sākot ar jaunākajiem.
Nu cik nu jaunākajiem šajā gadījumā, jo cenšoties veikt veco dzejoļu atdzejošanu/pārtulkošanu/uzlabošanu esmu secinājis, ka esmu saražojis daudz. No vienas puses prieks. No otras drausmas.
Jo tik daudz, kam vēl jāiet cauri, ko esmu savā jaunības ideālismā un pesimismā sarakstījis. Oh well. Tāda dzīve.
Turpinot. Esmu iecerējis arī veikt nelielu aprakstu, par to kā un kāpēc ir tapis konkrēts dzejolis (kā jau vienmēr - iespēju robežās, jo visu diemžēl nevar atcerēties. Censties gan =) )
Tātad. Piedāvāju šodien lasīšanai vienu no maniem pirmajiem dzejoļiem ever (vismaz oriģināli viens no pirmajiem, šī ir nedaudz uzlabotāka, smukāka versija manuprāt) -  No ziemeļiem uz dienvidiem.


No ziemeļiem uz dienvidiem,
Tālu ceļs ved.
No ledājiem uz vulkāniem,
Pāri kāpu galiem.
No gaismas uz tumsu,
Šeit nākuši esam mēs.
Pa taku mazu, nesaprastu
Kas nemainīga šķiet.

Patiesi labs,
Vai tiešām ļauns.
Sveši termini, tie man.
Cilvēks esmu,
Un tā arī dzīvoju,
Vai lemts to jēgu saprast man?

Labs vai ļauns?
Kāds ir šis ceļš?
To zināt, man nebūs lemts,
Tik zinu, ka iešu taisni,
Kamēr ticību saglabāšu.




Un sekojoši angliskā versija. Jā iespējams teksts ir mainīts nedaudz, bet tas ir tā sakot "zudis tulkojumā", tomēr domu esmu centies saglabāt.




Starting north and going south,
This road leads far.
From ice cold glaciers,
Towards burning volcanoes,
Over the dunes.
Through light till dark,
We have come.
Across the path misunderstood,
Which never seems to change.

True good,
Absolute evil,
These terms, unknown to me.
A man am I,
And as one I live,
Destined to understand them,
Will I ever be?

Good or evil,
Just how will this road be?
With certainty I shall never know,
But this I do,
As long as my faith I keep,
I shall not go astray.


Par pašu dzejoli.
Šis dzejolis (ja pareizi atceros) ir tapis 6. vai 7. klasē.
Šo rakstīju, kad jau biju nedaudz, minimāli, kaut cik atkopies no depresijas (labi, iespējams pārspīlēju. Pareizāk būtu teikt, ka depresija samazinājās. Nedaudz) un kārtējo reizi biju ķēries klāt tēmai - dzīves jēga. Pārlasot to, kas sarakstīts un pārrakstot lietas ir interesanti paskatīties uz to kā bija. Cik ļoti daudz domas, no tā - kas bijis - vēljoprojām var tikt attiecinātas uz mūsdienām. Vai varētu būt, ka mums DNS ir ģenētiski ierakstīts ceļš, ko mēs iesim un mēs uz to neapzināti tiecamies, paši sevi gatavodami tam, ko sagaida liktenis un ko Dievs mums ir paredzējis?
Nezinu. Bet. Ir interesanti to apcerēt.
Uz atvadām. Dziesmiņa. Cik nu šoreiz dziesmiņa, bet vismaz skaņdarbs.

Sākuma ieraksts, ievads vai kā viņu tur vēl var saukt.

Sveiki visi, kam patīk, nepatīk (kaut gan tad nesaprotu, kāpēc esat šeit) lasīt to, ko es rakstu un pārējie zvēri.
Šis ir tāds kā neliels ievads, par to, kas būs šajā blogā, kas es esmu un ko mēģinu darīt.
So.
Esmu Kārlis Balts (kā jau sadaļā pa labi iespējams būsiet ievērojuši), blogu veidoju, jo ceru kaut ko ar to pasākt. Precīzāk. Izplatīt savus domu plūdus, kas dažkārt (jā, arī man pašam) šķiet varbūt šizofrēniski un vēl viskautkādi. Un protams arī savus dzejoļus, ko centīšos nopublicēt varbūt kādā grāmatā pasarg Dievs! =D
Nestudēju, strādāju un cenšos sevi pilnveidot, paralēli mēģinot atrast savu vietu uz šīs pasaules.
Mani vada liktens un es ticu ka man ir jāsasniedz kas episks. Ja tā nebūs jutīšos sarūgtināts. Bet nu ko tur daudz.
Bloga nosaukums ir devīze, kas ir tik ļoti iepatikusies manam brālim un man - Screw the rules, tikai latīniski, jo redziet skan smukāk ^^. Just. Ne vienmēr visu var izdarīt likuma ietvaros un tad nākas improvizēt un ķerties klāt pārējiem līdzekļiem. Un kad būšu nospraudis mērķi mani no tā sasniegšanas neatturēs nekas. Tikai jāatrod gana labs mērķis vienīgais =D
Erm... Laikam pagaidām tas ir viss, kas man Jums sakāms.
Nu tad. Uz redzēšanos. Vai sarakstīšanos. Būs kā būs.