When I feel like dying.

Sometimes I feel like dying. I bet you all can imagine the how it is. When something or someone triggers that emotion, or lack of them which makes us want not to exist. Why do I start with something like that? Well. Speaking the truth. Cause that's kind of how I feel at the moment. Well. Slightly. I wish for it all to be over, even though there is not much more here than just life itself and my death would only bring more suffering to everyone rather than any joy, but I like playing around with my emotions. My thoughts. It's funny. I know that I should have no objective reason to feel this way then again, when have you felt emotions because of objective reasons? Well. Maybe looking from an objective point of view something has just been so bad, that you feel even worse. Like the holocaust. Don't know if I wrote it correctly, but truth be told - don't care that much either - too lazy to check cause writing mood and don't want to alt+tab from the notepad screen which I'm slowly filling with this nonsense. Well. Maybe nonsense. Maybe not. Reflection of ones mind and inner world? Perhaps.
Ok moving on. Holocaust might be bad. Ok it. Both from an objective point of view and that's subjective opinion as well. But still. Don't we feel bad more because we with our subjective mind see things as sad? We see them as sad because they are sad to us, while some people might encourage said actions because they believe such acts are good according to their subjective point of view? Or is it now a question of morality and standarts? The inner-self and the greater evil? Greater good? Maybe? It's possible. Don't know for sure. I'm drunk on emotions. And I want to express them.
To be honest. I don't remember what point I had when I started writing. I had one. I'm pretty sure of that. Like c'mon. It's me. What did you expect? Random babble? Well. Could be if you know the full extent of my randomness. But this mirror of my inner self. In a way. And do you want to know what he is saying? I can tell you. But some might not listen. Some even might, but it doesn't mean they will hear. Nothing will change - unless you change it yourself. If by some weird reason reason you believe that you are the reason of all the problems, God bless, don't take this as proof that you are. Because even though the source problem can be found within ourselves quite often it doesn't mean it always is there. The biggest problem ussually is the mindset of a person. The way the percieve things and their mindset then twists and shapes the reality in all sorts of crude and ugly shapes. I have a subjective reason to feel like I would want to die. Why? Because the place I'm at - even though I'm kind of calling it home (for now and for most of my childhood) - it has painful memories that somehow manage to come back to the surface of my mind when I'm located here. Thank God and thanks to other people who have helped me overcome a lot of faults in my thinking I can accept that - Yes. I hate this place. Because of what happened. It doesn't it's a bad place per se. It just means it's a bad place for me now. But I can change it. I can not focus on it. And input my energy into something else. Something productive. And be reasonable about all this feeling down stuff while still thinking over it, in the meantime understanding that it ain't exactly what I need or what I should do. Instead. I should change it. And I shall.
All of us. I believe we can. We can change. And we change the world around us. We can help. As the motto of the Belgium goes - United we stand, divided we fall. Or something amongst those lines. I believe you get the picture. And in case my random babblings have gotten you down. Follow the instructions bellow:
a) get some balls of steel!
b) put some metal on! (or whatever you listen to)
c) ride out and enjoy the awesome adventure which is called life. Cause you deserve it!
P.s. About why these 2 songs. Well. A. They are both awesome. And B.) It depends on your subjective judgement, but the same person can be both a hero and a monster at the same time. Kinda like Hitler.